Is This… Love??

I am leaving a work Christmas party. Already in the hallway, I turn back and through the windows and the open suite door, I see my smiling colleagues.

We’ve spent several hours socializing, enjoying the potluck party food, catching up, asking each other about holiday plans, kidding each other, exchanging small presents and wishing each other a merry Christmas.

I’ve already hugged my friends and I’ve already said, “Good-bye!” and “Happy Holidays!” to everyone, but after walking out of the door, I turn back to say another “Byyyyye,” to wave and to smile again.

However, I still feel like something’s missing, like I haven’t said or done the most important thing, like I haven’t shared with my colleagues how full my heart is after spending that time with them, and I really want to.

I desperately search for the words that would express what I am feeling and before my mind has a chance to filter anything out, I hear myself shouting to be heard through the happy buzzing in the suite, “Byyyyye! Love you!”

“Yes! That’s it! That’s the word I’ve been looking for – ‘love’!” smiles my heart. “Oh, no! What the heck did I just say?” gasps my mind…

On the way to the car, I am listening to my mind lecturing me: “You are out of control! That was really weird! Who does that?! No one says, ‘Love you’ to their colleagues! They are now going to think that you are a nut case!..”

“But WHY?” I ask with sincere and childlike curiosity. “Why is it improper, awkward and unsuitable to say ‘I love you’ to your colleagues if this is what you are feeling towards them? No one judges babies for smiling at the strangers and giving love to everyone in sight! We actually think it’s cute and sweet and usually smile back.”

Driving home, I keep pondering about what is appropriate and what’s not in our society and how much love we allow ourselves to give and receive on an everyday basis. I come to the conclusion that if I were to divide people’s acts into “loving” and “unloving,” I would have to put most of what I see in public places and in mass media into the “unloving” category.

It seems like being rude, unfriendly and mean to one another is something that is looked down on, but that is still seen as “acceptable,” as more of a “norm” than being nice and loving.

In my mind, I search for any instances of love being expressed publicly, intentionally and shamelessly, and I remember that Elizabeth Gilbert uses “Dear Ones” as the greeting in her Facebook posts, Doreen Virtue always says, “Dear One” in her videos and Byron Katie is famous for calling everyone “Sweetheart,” which she always says with the sweetest and most loving smile, making everyone feel good right away.

I also remember that attendees of events like “I Can Do It” by Hay House or of some other personal development events are more inclined to share love freely – hugs, smiles and holding of hands are more common there…

I do not think that I have ever seen any news reporters, politicians, CEOs… showing any love, though – it’s just not something that is typically done – “not the time or place” – and they would probably be judged and criticized if they did it…

“One day, there might be different rules by which people will be choosing to live. It might be bad manners NOT to be loving, kind or caring,” – I tell myself. – “It will be OK to say, ‘I love you’ even to strangers and to the people who are not our family members or romantic partners. One day…”

“You may say I am a dreamer, but I am not the only one,” – John Lennon’s voice interrupts my thought flow, – “I hope some day you’ll join us and the world will be as one…”

Lots of Blessings to you and your families!

Happy Holidays!




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