My 40th Birthday Insight

I sit down on my yoga mat and close my eyes.

Yesterday I posted the rest of my students’ grades, so today I am officially on vacation and I’m enjoying having a slow, late morning. Today it is also my 40th birthday and my mind seems to be quieter than usual. After all my morning routines, I am ready for the sadhana, so I go to my yoga and meditation room and get ready for my daily practice.

This is the second year I’ve been teaching Kundalini Yoga and Meditation and before every class, I like to say a prayer from A Course in Miracles. Usually, when I do yoga at home for myself, I don’t recite the prayer, but today, for some reason, it enters my mind right after I close my eyes and start taking deep breaths to center myself.

I am here only to be truly helpful…

Before I have a chance to move to the second line, I am abruptly jolted out of my meditative space by a deep realization that brings tears to my eyes – this is not just about the yoga or even language classes that I teach to others; this is actually about all my time on this planet!

I am here only to be truly helpful.” I inhale and exhale several times and watch all the letters light up in my mind and dance to some happy tune, shining with bright rainbow colors -– I am here to guide others during a yoga class, but also to be an agent of love and kindness off the mat as well!

I am here to represent Him Who sent me.” – That is how I see myself – bringing Light and spreading Love on this planet, supporting others…

I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me.” – I’ve experienced this SO MANY times both while teaching yoga and also language classes at my college…

I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me.”  – The lesson of surrender, trust and faith that I’m finally beginning to get now…

I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal…

I am sitting still, shaken up, hearing my fast breathing, my heart racing from having my whole being affected by this insight…

My mind begins showing me snapshots of all the language and yoga students who’ve expressed gratitude to me verbally and in cards or e-mails, all the touching words of appreciation they’ve shared with me over the years: “I’ve been trying to understand English for twenty years, taking classes from various teachers at different countries, but I couldn’t get it until I took your class!…” “You’ve taught me to be a better person and my relationship with my father has improved thanks to what you’ve taught me…” “Thank you for such an amazing class! I am feeling wonderful and I had a big realization during our meditation today…”

It is finally beginning to sink in how God likes to use me on this planet…

“Instead of asking, “What do I want from life?’, a more powerful question is, ‘What does life want from me?’” says Eckhart Tolle.

Sometimes it can take us forty years to become aware of our life purpose and embrace what has already been going on for a long time… I am a teacher...

Photo by Eneko Uruñuela on Unsplash


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